Roger: Well, Rafa, I'm going to Beijing with you.
Rafa: That's a shame.
Roger: It's okay, I'm not playing, but Mercedes asked me to promote some of the Asian players in the qualifiers.
Rafa: Bueno Roger, if you are doing promotion of Asian players, you must know all the names.
Roger: I certainly do.
Rafa: Well, I never meet those guy, so you tell me the names, and then I know who is in the draw.
Roger: Oh, I'll tell you their names, Rafa, but strange as it may seem, the Asians have some very different names.
Rafa: Funny names?
Roger: Short names, confusing names....
Rafa: Like Long Duc Dong?
Roger: Long Duc Dong.
Rafa: Fu Man Chu?
Roger: Fu Man Chu.
Rafa: And his "primo gordito"?
Roger: Chubby cousin?
Rafa: Chow Hi Fat?
Roger: Chow Hi Fat! Oh, I see...well, let's see. In the qualifying draw we have, "Hu" seeded 1st, "Yu" seeded 2nd, "Ngo" 3rd seed, "Mi" 4th seed.....
Rafa: Roger - this is what I want to know.
Roger: I said, "Hu" seeded 1st, "Yu" seeded 2nd, "Ngo" 3rd seed, "Mi" 4th seed...
Rafa: Roger...you are coming to Beijing?
Roger: Yes.
Rafa: You are promoting the Asians?
Roger: Yes.
Rafa: But, you don't know their names?
Roger: I certainly should.
Rafa: Then who's seeded 1st?
Roger: Yes.
Rafa: I mean the #1 seed.
Roger: Hu.
Rafa: The #1 seed!
Roger: Hu!
Rafa: The top seed!
Roger: Hu is the top seed!
Rafa: Who?!
Roger: That's the man's name!
Rafa: That's who's name?
Roger: Yes.
Rafa: You don't want to tell me?
Roger: I'm telling you his name!
Rafa: Who's name?
Roger: Yes.
...pause....
Rafa: Roger, did you read the draw sheet?
Roger: Of course I read the draw sheet.
Rafa: Then what's the first name in the draw?
Roger: The first name in the draw is Hu.
Rafa: I'm asking YOU the first name in the draw.
Roger: Yu is the last name in the draw - the 2nd seed is always at the bottom.
Rafa: Who's the last man in the draw?
Roger: Ah-ah...he's the first.
Rafa: No, no, no...
Roger: Oh, he's the 3rd seed.
Rafa: Que?
Roger: The 3rd seed: Ngo.
Rafa: No - no the 3rd seed.
Roger: Yes he is.
Rafa: Who is?
Roger: Ah-ah...he's the top seed.
...pause...
Rafa:
Roger: Hu is.
Rafa: Why you are asking me?
Roger: Mi? I'm not asking Mi, I'm telling you.
Rafa: You are telling me?
Roger: Why would I tell Mi? Mi is in the bottom half of the draw.
Rafa: You are in who's half of the draw?
Roger: I'm not playing, I'm just doing promos.
Rafa:
Roger: I'm not in the qualifiers.
Rafa: Then who's seeded 1st?
Roger: That's right.
Rafa: Vale...
Roger: Okay...
....pause...
Rafa: Venga, Roger - forget the top 2 seeds...forget them - what about the 3rd seed?
Roger: What about him?
Rafa: Who is seeded 3rd?
Roger: Why do you insist on making Hu the 3rd seed?
Rafa: No, no, no.
Roger: Right!
Rafa: Roger...the name of the 3rd seed, no?
Roger: That's it.
Rafa: What's it?
Roger: The name of the 3rd seed.
Rafa: No, no, no...
Roger: That's right!
Rafa: I don't even know what I'm talking about! Dios mio....what about the 2nd seed?
Roger: The second seed is Yu!
Rafa: I am in the qualies?
Roger: Why the hell would Rafa Nadal be in the qualies?
Rafa: Is what I'm asking YOU!
Roger: Go ahead and ask him, but I'm sure he doesn't know.
Rafa: Who doesn't know?
Roger: Him either.
Rafa: This is unbelievable, no?
Roger: Ngo? He's seeded 3rd.
Rafa: Bueno, bueno...let's talk about the 3rd seed and don't change the subject!
Roger: The 3rd seed? Ngo.
Rafa: Yes, the 3rd seed.
Roger: Ngo!
Rafa: You don't want to tell me the 3rd seed?
Roger: I told you already!
Rafa: No?
Roger: That's right.
Rafa: Que "right"?
Roger: The 3rd seed's name - Ngo.
Rafa: Why you don't want to tell me who's the 3rd seed?
Roger: Now listen, Hu is not the 3rd seed...
Rafa: I break your balls if you tell me who's the #1 seed!
Roger: Take it easy chico...I told you their names are confusing.
Rafa: Seguro! I hope the other Asian names aren't so complicated.
...pause...
Roger: The other Asians - like that Vietnamese player they just signed?
Rafa: When?
Roger: That's right Nguyen.
Rafa: I don't know when.
Roger: Neither do I, but it's a good thing they signed him, because the 1st Vietnamese player withdrew with an injury.
Rafa: Somebody dropped out of the draw? Since when?
Roger: He's still in the draw: another Vietnamese player withdrew, that's why they signed him.
Rafa: They signed who?
Roger: Not Hu; Nguyen.
Rafa: Since when they signed who?
Roger: They're both still in the draw! I'm talking about the other Vietnamese player.
Rafa: They signed another Vietnamese player?
Roger: Yes!
Rafa: When?
Roger: Exactly!
....pause...
Rafa: Por Dios - dame paciencia...Roger! If you don't give me a straight answer....(shaking his hand)
Roger: Mi wants a straight answer? All he has to do is ask.
Rafa: Whoever he is, If he asks you, he never get a straight answer.
Roger: Sure he will, he's in the qualies too.
Rafa: Who's in the qualies?
Roger: Yes, him too.
Rafa:
Roger: For the last 10 minutes, yes...
Rafa: And the 2nd seed is Yu?
Roger: I told you, I'm not in the tournament - I'm just doing promos.
Rafa: No, no, no
Roger: He's...
Rafa: ...the 3rd seed, I got it, I got it.
Roger: Perfect - now you can do some promo work too.
Rafa: I guess...by the way, did you see the PR guy anywhere?
Roger: Yes, he's Sum Yung Gi.
Rafa: Si, they start in the business very early; but do you know him?
Roger: Yes, of course: he's Sum Yung Gi
Rafa: We established that! But I want to know: have you seen him today?
Roger: Yes! Didn't you meet him earlier?
Rafa: No? I never met him.
Roger: I haven't either, but I hear he's a hell of a player, that's why they seeded him 3rd.
Rafa: I'm talking about the PR guy? Do you know him?
Roger: Yes, he's Sum Yung Gi.
Rafa: Claro, he's young! Is professional tennis - nothing but young guys around here!
Roger: Yeah, I guess that is a common name in Beijing.
Rafa: What is the common name?
Roger: SUM...YUNG...GI!
Rafa: Basta con este mierda! I go to see the women's draw.
Roger: Okay, okay......Shi's all over that one...
Rafa proceeds to slap Roger silly as they exit stage left...
No comments:
Post a Comment